Insights About Attraction:

Are you really suggesting I need to become selfish? What if I’m uncomfortable with that?
Many people are uncomfortable with the word.  Try referring to it as a “healthy self-fullness”.  Does that help?  Don’t get caught up in the word, though.  The essence behind the concept is for you to actually do what is best for you each and every day.  This will actually HELP your family and the world since you’ll have more energy to give back. You’ll also find yourself feeling much happier and less resentful or angry.  Does that make sense?  I hope so.

I still don’t get it.  I have kids and it’s hard for me to be selfish.  I am drained from giving so much, though. So, maybe the notion of being selfish is something I need to try?
Have you ever been on an airplane?  What does the perky stewardness say at the beginning of each and every flight?  She tells you to put the oxygen mask on YOURSELF first and then your children, if there is a loss in cabin pressure.  YOU first and then your kids.  This is for your safety and it’s the best option for your kids, too.  If YOU don’t take care of yourself,  you may not be available to care for your kids.  That’s how it works.  I know it’s tough for you to take time for yourself if you have kids, but you simply must do it.  So, why not doing something purely selfish this week such as asking your husband to watch the kids for 30 minutes while you soak in a hot, sudsy, relaxing bath?  Go ahead, do it.

Quotes:

“What makes the Attraction approach work is that it increases the frequency of synchronicity. You might call it great timing, good luck, chance, a lucky break, hard work that pays off, etc., but what it really is called synchronicity—the intersection of you and opportunity. The big question (of all time) is how does one “increase” synchronicity? The answer is to increase flow, much like a chiropractor realigns your bones to let your nervous system send more healing energy throughout your body.” - Thomas Leonard, author of 28 Principles of Attraction


“The Concorde airplane flies almost twice as fast as a Boeing 747. Four things make this possible. First, high-thrust engines. Second, a fairly light weight (max 100 passengers). Third, revolutionary wing design. Fourth, the Concorde flies above most of the weather (50,000ft+ vs 41,000 or so for the 747.) It takes the lighter load, powerful engines and properly designed wings to cruise at a high altitude. The benefit? Less atmospheric resistance and less chance of encountering weather/storms. The result? A faster, smoother ride with less risk. When you utilize the Attraction approach, you are strengthening your skills (engines), simplifying your life (light fuselage; less of a load), redesigning how you live/work (wings) and developing the reserve necessary to fly above the weather that others always seem to be dealing with. ” - Thomas Leonard
 

Lesson Two:  Learning two principles of attraction

Are you really, really, really great at putting yourself first?  Or, could you use a reminder to think of yourself and your needs more frequently?  Most of my clients lead very busy lives.  Some of you have kids.  Some have demanding jobs.  Some of you rarely have time to do what you truly want.  You might fall into this picture somewhere.  Do you?

Beginning today, you’ll learn two different attraction principles each week.  I’ll define the principles and offer several examples to help you integrate and learn as much as possible. Your job is to study this information and apply both principles in your life during the week.  This week, we’ll look at one of the most controversial principles: “Become Incrediibly Selfish”.  Does that rub you the wrong way?  Don’t worry if it does. There are built-in land mines in each of the 28 principles that are DESIGNED to cause reaction/resistance. I suggest that you work through your reaction/resistance . As you work through these reactions, you will evolve as a person and become more “attractive.” 

Try on these principles for the week and see how they feel to you.

Principle # 1:  BECOME INCREDIBLY SELFISH.
In other words, build the muscle of putting yourself first.

Selfish doesn’t mean that you should become egotistical, narcissistic or self-centered. Selfishness means to put yourself first even if it means others have to make changes to accomodate you.

In order for you to attract more of what you want, there has to be a YOU!  Some people aren’t selfish enough to have developed a complete sense of themselves.  If you don’t feel a strong sense of individuality or a sense of who you are and what really interests you, pay special attention to this first principle.

Examples:

 

  • Say no when you can just as easily say yes; build that muscle if it’s weak.
  • Buy the brand you really want, even if it’s expensive. (unless you have major credit card debt.)
  • Stop helping people who don’t appreciate your time and energy.
  • Ask for exceptions and special treatment when told your request isn’t possible.
  • Ask vendors/service professionals to customize their services to perfectly meet your needs.

    • This principle is really challenging for people at first.  As a giving person, I remember scratching my head the first time I read this one.  However, it does make sense if you think about it.  In order to give to others, you MUST learn to fuel yourself first or you won’t have much to give.

    Being selfish doesn’t mean you’ll stop doing things for others.  Here’s the important point to remember:

    Learn to do for others without betraying yourself.  Do you know how to do that?

    Many of us give TOO much and we don’t have enough time for ourselves.  That’s why this principle is an important one to practice.  I’ll give you a personal example.  As I worked on developing this new website, I found myself frustrated with the lack of time and mental energy after a long day of coaching others.  Eventually, I decided to start saying “no” to new clients and turned them away.  With the extra time, I was able to finally complete this project.  I had to put myself first to pull this off.

    Here’s another example:  One of my clients was constantly overwhelmed by her social life.  She said “yes” to every invitation that came her way since she loved helping people and valued her friendships very much.  However, she never had time for herself and personal priorities such as exercising always came last on the list.  So, she decided to drastically cut back and help her friends on a limited scale.  Instead of planning the baby shower (for example), she simply attended.  Rather than agreeing to help her friend organize her home, she offered to spend 2 hours and did as much as possible during that time.  She learned to set limits. In doing so, she freed up more time for herself.

    Let’s look at another principle:

    Principle # 8:  BECOME IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOURSELF.
    In other words, do stuff that makes you proud of yourself, regardless of what others think or whether it’s even practical.

    This doesn’t mean to feed your ego or try to make yourself feel better. Rather, it challenges you to do something very different/extraordinary until you are impressed by yourself.

    Examples:

  • Do something good for someone who doesn’t deserve it.

  • Give something away that you would normally charge for.

  • Admit something important that you haven’t, but need to.

  • End a habit or practice that you don’t feel good about.

  • Identify the one quality that you don’t currently have that you REALLY want to have and then take 30 days to develop that quality.

    • This week, I’d like you to answer the questions on this WORKSHEET to help you learn more about the two principles you’re learning today. 

    Remember, this is first level learning for you, so don’t worry if you’re not an “expert” on these principles yet.  I simply want you to play with these two principles for the week. Next week, you’ll learn two more.  At the end of the course, I’ll ask you to identify your favorite top ten principles for an “after the e-course” ongoing assignment.  Stay tuned for that.  In the meantime, pay attention to which of these principles you enjoy the most and which ones you sense you truly need in your life.

    Your coach,